Spirit Blog

Personal reflections on a spiritual journey...

Surrender

So it seems that my oldest child will have his first full day of public school on his fourth birthday this coming September (8 weeks from now?!) and that thought, or the reality of it, just completely rocks me to my core. It is so cliche to say that time flies so I'll just imply it. I am torn between knowing that this is a great opportunity for him and falling into fear-based thoughts that he won't be ready for this gigantic shift, tremendous change. 

In truth, it is me who is not prepared. I am grasping at the present moment, secretly hoping it won't turn into tomorrow, wishing my baby will still be my baby when instead he needs to be a boy. 

He can handle change. All he knows is change. Everything is new, fresh, exciting, different and he flows through it with grace (despite the occasional tantrum). 

I'm the one who needs to learn how to adapt, to remember that all of this is temporary. 

And the only way I can even think to do that is to surrender. To let go. To ask for help in prayer. 

"Please dissolve this fear for me. Let me be free. Thank you."

Faith

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you...

I am a Capricorn in the fullest sense, a Type-A personality, a mover, a doer, and an avid controller. Yet, I'm starting to learn that the less I try to manipulate, the less I attempt to control, the more I am aligned with my Highest Self. 

Let go and let God. 

To practice that means to surrender, to understand that as much as I think I am in charge, I am not. There is a much more powerful force guiding me through even the most mundane circumstances. My dharma unfolds moment to moment in every corner of my life with no work on my part.

Letting go means I remember that I am supported, protected, and safe even when my five senses say otherwise. My true essence is one with God and all the controlling, the manipulating, is my ego forgetting how it all, this vast universe, works.

I take three long deep breaths into my belly, inhaling and exhaling through my nostrils, every time I am slapped in the face with a reminder that I am not in this alone. It is usually when everything around me seems to be falling apart and all my best laid plans are coming undone. That's when it tends to hit me. That's when I remember. That's when belief becomes faith.